She’s Got a Story to Tell…

Serenading Myself as I Indulge the Thrill of Living in My 60’s

By Shawn Grain Carter

My college sweetheart, Richard Carter from Long Island, became my future husband when we eloped in 1984 after he and I began our respective careers. The 1980s was a decadent era of parties, frivolous fashion, power dressing and “living large” in New York City. It was exciting to have him introduce me as “ his wife” and figure out the contours of making our marriage work well. The most challenging aspects for me were money management and thoughtful communication between partners. The 50/50 ratio of household chores was not feasible. Our hobbies and leisure activities were vast and unique. Yet, we fostered our growth as we navigated the ups and downs of figuring out who we were as individuals and as a married couple.

The sexiest attributes about my late husband were his mind and his BIG personality! Rick respected strong women who thought for themselves and debated current issues such as religion, politics, sports, and culture. Simultaneously, I learned the art of being soft. I learned to lean in and leave the “girl boss” at the office. I never truly realized that my worth was not embedded in winning every argument or proving every point.

When our wonderful daughter, Lindsay was born, I never saw Rick as happy as the moment he held all 7 lbs. 9 oz of her in his arms on such a hot summer afternoon in August. His megawatt smile lit up the hospital room and remains with me in my heart since he passed away.

We used to joke that every day with one another was Valentine’s Day and didn’t really celebrate it as a couple. I preferred flowers as a surprise gift when it wasn’t my wedding anniversary, birthday, or Mother’s Day. He preferred, his favorite single malt scotch, a Cuban cigar and great sex anytime anywhere he could have it.

Of course, a lady never kisses and tells.

As a woman of substance embracing my sixties, I’m still sexy, still bossy, and very radical in this Autumn season of my life. My favorite word in the English language these days is “NO!”

Previously, I never contemplated the authentic power of that word. Too often, I find that women apologize when they refuse a request, or command, or invitation, or solicitation or inquiry or proposal.
No is my personal power button!

As a mother, widow, womanist, daughter, friend, and lover I am celebrate the power within my spirit and soul each day. My grandmother always said, “tomorrow is not promised.” Therefore, my legacy of love nurtures the beauty from within my 64 year-old self every day with a song in my heart. The thrill of living is a light that perpetually shines.

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